A Penny for your thoughts...

Now, for a little more on Nichole’s family life… Today, I would like to introduce you to Penny - Nichole's older sister (by 4 years).

You’ll recall that Nichole's mother was working non-traditional hours, getting a very meagre pay, and when time permitted, imbibing to ignore the woes of the world. This left Penny with the role of "mother". Penny took care of Nichole and their older brother: cooking and cleaning in particular.

Nichole can remember Penny bathing her in the morning to get her ready for school. And, when Nichole was sick, Penny would spend time with her – making her soup, playing with her, and making sure she got the rest she needed. One of Nichole's fondest memory is of the 2 girls building tents in their room with their bedsheets and playing with their dolls. Then, the bottom went out again…

Pen’s vivid memory of her father leaving, the downturn her mother took, and the quick decent into poverty and despair scarred her. I suppose that’s not really surprising since it all started when she was 6!

Penny was a good student, focused on doing the right thing for herself and for her family. Penny concentrated on her cheerleading and her schooling until… At the age of 16, Penny started dating one of the high school basketball stars. By the time Pen was 17 she was pregnant and had to quit school to have and to take care of her baby. There was no one around to provide her with guidance, structure and discipline to help her understand and wade through the pressures she might face...

Aside from a broken family, no one provided any support required to a single, teenage mother. Even now, her “baby daddy” is still not paying any child support – and a lot is owed! The result: At the age of 17, Penny is trying to be a mother not only to her own baby, but to her siblings as well; and trying to make her own ends meet.

Just as Nichole’s mom turned to drinking as a way of forgetting the issues, Penny turned to men (though, I’m sure she thought she was turning to love). Anything to escape! Now 18 years later, Penny is the mother of 4 children from 3 different fathers. The poverty and despair cycle has been proliferated. Can you imagine what poverty is like with 4 kids!? How hard might it be to look at your children and encourage them, tell them they can achieve, when you haven't been able to see a glimpse of light yourself?

In the past 10 years, Penny married the father of her 2 youngest, whose drug addiction was rivalled only by his irresponsibility. By virtue of peer pressure and the desire to escape, she too got lured into the world of drug abuse. She even overdosed and luckily survived. Over time, she temporarily lost custody of her children. Her youngest boys (at the ages of 6 and 8) could tell you stories that no child – heck no adult – should ever have to know or see!

Today, Penny is slowly getting back on her feet, but there's still so much to do… She has tried to get her GED 4 times but has not been able to succeed. There are no accessible programs to help tutor her, and certainly not any that come with childcare! We can only wonder what might happen next.

Penny, as her mother before, is living in poverty supported by food stamps and welfare. Her children have had the luxury of witnessing these problems and the way in which they’ve been handled. When do you think the vicious cycle will end for this family? And, if it doesn’t end soon – what hope will the children have?

I deliberately omitted specific details of events due to the harsh and graphic nature of this reality.

Lemon Tree Idea Gallery – The Boulder Remover

(Lemon Creek Glacier, Southern Alaska)

There is a philosophy in management studies which suggests that the key to being successful as a manager is to remove obstacles from the path of your teams, and then get out of the way to let them do what they’re good at. The obstacle in question is usually something within the internal operations of the business.

It has also been proven time and time again that employees who have less personally stress, strife and distraction contribute more significantly and more productively to the organization than those who have more. In fact, SAS, a research software development organization in Cary, NC has – for eleven consecutive years – been in the top 30 of Fortune’s Top 100 Best Companies to Work for in America. One of SAS’s successes during their 30+ years, is the way it treats its employees, including providing: onsite subsidized medical centres, onsite subsidized gourmet cafeterias, subsidized health and daycare programs, among others. SAS believes that by helping employees relieve their personal pre-occupations, they will have employees who contribute more to the success of the organization – and they do!

This doesn’t mean that people who have more personal issues aren’t as smart or as capable; rather, they are distracted. You might think that one should separate their personal life and work life. To a degree, I’ll agree with you. But what if the “distraction” is the concern of whether this week’s pay check will be enough to pay rent, bills and to put food on the table for your 2-year old? Do you still believe it’s easy to just leave the personal problems at home? To so many, these issues are like a boulder in the middle of the highway and you’re driving towards it at over 100mph (160km/h)!

What if we could expand these business theories and practices into society at large? We all want our communities to continue improving – so, let’s be a part of the movement!

Those boulders I referred to are usually major hope crushers for so many people living in poverty. They may want to change their lives, learn, grow, earn and stand on their own two feet, but these big huge rocks (among others) are in their way:
• Who is going to take care of the kids while I go to school and learn?
• If I study, and give up or reduce my salary for 6 months (the average amount of time required to get a certificate), how will I make ends meet?
• Even if I study part time to not give up my salary – can my body handle the demands and stresses?
• Even if I get a job, I can’t leave the kids because I still can’t afford daycare!
• Will I make it through? And, even if I do, what’s at the other end? What if it’s all for not?
To make matters worse, these rocks are next to impossible to budge – and these people are usually alone (remember the reliability issue in "Lemons have families too..."). So there’s no help to even try to move them. What would you do? Over time, most people give up. Voilà: hopelessness!

What if we could create a movement whose key goal is to remove these boulders from the paths of people who aren’t quite as privileged as many of us? Don’t worry about the “how” right now? Worry about the “who”… If we could all commit to “creating a world with no borders where everyone can have true equal opportunity to improve their life”, we would all find the right ways to budget, nudge and even remove these boulders.

Boulder Removing Experts

Here’s idea #2… and, to tell you the truth, I don’t think I’ve heard of this kind of program in existence. Imagine with me:

…An organization that people can turn to for support in order to remove boulders from their path when they want to work toward self-sufficiency. In order to qualify, you need to be willing to work with a counsellor/case worker who will evaluate your needs and ambitions. Let’s be clear – this group is not going to help you get a BMW! But if you work with them, you could be able to get your own.

Independently of what your problems are, this organization removes the boulders. You can get a job, but you can’t leave your children because you can’t pay for daycare: we’ll help you cover daycare. You realize it’s time to get a high school diploma because no matter how hard you try, you can’t get a full time job that pays enough to cover rent and the bills: we can help you get that diploma. You have been working for years in a basic paying job without benefits or savings and now you’ve been laid off: we’ll make it easier for you to find another job and bridge the gap.

You’ll notice that the “helps” provided are built to remove boulders. These individualized programs are temporary. You and your case worker build a plan and timeline together (which unto itself is a learning). Once the boulder is out of your way, and you’re on your way, we get out of your way and you live your life. The point is to get you to self-sufficiency, to teach you how to fish.

There are two small additions to the organization and its programs: 1/ if you want to stay in touch, you are always welcome; and 2/ please pay it forward.

What do you think?

It may sound like welfare – but, I’d like to think it’s better. If this is what welfare is supposed to be then I apologize to those who created the welfare programs. I would suggest that those programs get better managed. I know people who live on welfare, and they really don’t believe there’s a way out. They almost seem to think that it’s going to be “welfare forever”.

In the meantime, feel free to share these ideas with anyone you think could contribute to making a difference. We need to take a stand today. The longer we wait, the more the issues proliferate. The more the issues proliferate, the more we get comfortable with the idea that “this is just the way it is”. I don’t know about you, but I refuse to accept poverty as a norm that just is…

Lemons have families too...

I'd like to give you a little extra background on Nichole and her family:

Nichole’s mom graduated from high school – with honours; she was even enrolled in college (but never had a chance to graduate). She took care of her kids while her husband worked. It was the late 70s.

But papa was a rolling stone. He was in a rock band and drove race cars on the weekends. He thought he was one “hot tamale”! Then, the bottom fell out... He lost his job, lost the house and cheated on his wife. Little Nichole was only 2 when her dad left. A single mom with 3 kids and no income doesn’t make ends meet very well. And, Nichole’s dad was not into paying child support!

Oh, there goes gravity… (Eminem, Lose Yourself)

Nichole’s mom turned to county (State) support. A few food stamps and housing subsidies later, none of which provided a good life for a family of 4 in which 3 of the people were under the age of 18, Nichole’s mom gave into the vices that grip people who begin to feel hopeless. She started smoking and drinking heavily – and Lord knows what else – but, the point is that the pressures were too much!

Nichole’s mom – a grown woman – had to work for minimum wage at the local grocery store. She had a job which did not provide her with any family benefits so she remained a “client of welfare”; she did not get time off – she worked weekends, evenings, and sometimes nights. Nichole, her sister (4 years older), and her brother (8 years older) spent nights alone – fending for themselves. The kids would often wake themselves up and get themselves ready to go to school by themselves because their mom was too tired. Can you understand why, sometimes, the laundry didn’t get done?

The subsidies allowed the family to get a used car – sometimes the car started, sometimes it didn’t. Often, it didn’t start because they couldn't afford gas! (Would you believe that food stamps don’t buy gas, either?) When the car didn’t start, Nichole’s mom couldn’t get to work which meant she didn’t get paid. Oh yeah, I know what you’re thinking: call for a ride, take the bus. I thought that way too – but, let me enlighten you:

When you live in many small towns that are in the suburbs of small cities, there is no public transit! So, that option is out the window. And, when you live in areas where poverty is the norm, reliability is not a trait you find in others very easily. So, you just stay home. It doesn't happen over night; at first, you try. But, over time, when you are continuously met with this kind of challenge and obstacle, it's hard to find the strength to push through.

Shall we recap?
• From a life with hope, to hopeless and alone
• From regular meals to food stamps and housing subsidies
• From stay-at-home mom to minimum wage work with no benefits
• From a nice home to no stability
• From race cars to a car that might not start
• And, no reliable people or public transit

Sounds dreamy, doesn’t it? These were the realities that this family lived with… So, it’s no surprise when I tell you that there were often nights when splitting a baked potato for dinner was something you just had to do. Nichole recalls many nights where her mom actually gave up eating so that the kids could get a larger portion. Did I mention that her mom weighs about 90lbs all wet?

What’s the point of this story? The point is that poverty is a cycle. Somewhere, somehow, the cycle has to be broken. Here’s the big challenge: How do you break the cycle of poverty, create value for education, and mitigate the negative influences, without losing the fact that in the middle of it all, there exists a family?

The Lemon Seed

I think I would be remiss if I didn’t join in the world of endless information, endless communications and endless ideas. You see (for those who don’t know me), I’m one of those people who can take an 8-hour day and turn it into a thousand different ideas. Maybe some are good, maybe some are bad – but the melon is always thinking! And, it is always thinking about something in particular: the link between poverty and lack of education.

I’m hoping that by shining some light onto people’s stories: experiences, successes and fears; and by providing some insight into some ideas I’ve come to dream of, there may be someone out there who can help with making some of these ideas and hopes come to life.

First, let me give you some background on the “Once upon a Lemon Tree” concept. You’ve heard of the expression: “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade”? Well – that’s where this idea was born. Fact is, in today’s climate, there are probably a lot of people who feel like they’ve been given the whole damn lemon tree!

Second, let me show you how the “lemon tree” has anything to do with the link between “poverty and lack of education”. Many of you might remember your first job setting up a lemonade stand on your street and selling a glass for 10¢ on a hot summer day. But, how did you make the lemonade? If your mom or dad hadn’t showed you and your friends how to make the stuff, you’d have had nothing but the lemons and sugar! So, you had to learn. That’s the point… if you learn something you can probably make some money off of it.

Third, let me demonstrate the missing link – and hence, some of the stories and ideas I will present in future posts. Just because you learned something doesn’t mean you can make money, but it is a mandatory pre-requisite. The missing link to the “lemon tree” is to find the opportunity. But, then again – I suppose you could learn to identify opportunities…