Now, for a little more on Nichole’s family life… Today, I would like to introduce you to Penny - Nichole's older sister (by 4 years).
You’ll recall that Nichole's mother was working non-traditional hours, getting a very meagre pay, and when time permitted, imbibing to ignore the woes of the world. This left Penny with the role of "mother". Penny took care of Nichole and their older brother: cooking and cleaning in particular.
Nichole can remember Penny bathing her in the morning to get her ready for school. And, when Nichole was sick, Penny would spend time with her – making her soup, playing with her, and making sure she got the rest she needed. One of Nichole's fondest memory is of the 2 girls building tents in their room with their bedsheets and playing with their dolls. Then, the bottom went out again…
Pen’s vivid memory of her father leaving, the downturn her mother took, and the quick decent into poverty and despair scarred her. I suppose that’s not really surprising since it all started when she was 6!
Penny was a good student, focused on doing the right thing for herself and for her family. Penny concentrated on her cheerleading and her schooling until… At the age of 16, Penny started dating one of the high school basketball stars. By the time Pen was 17 she was pregnant and had to quit school to have and to take care of her baby. There was no one around to provide her with guidance, structure and discipline to help her understand and wade through the pressures she might face...
Aside from a broken family, no one provided any support required to a single, teenage mother. Even now, her “baby daddy” is still not paying any child support – and a lot is owed! The result: At the age of 17, Penny is trying to be a mother not only to her own baby, but to her siblings as well; and trying to make her own ends meet.
Just as Nichole’s mom turned to drinking as a way of forgetting the issues, Penny turned to men (though, I’m sure she thought she was turning to love). Anything to escape! Now 18 years later, Penny is the mother of 4 children from 3 different fathers. The poverty and despair cycle has been proliferated. Can you imagine what poverty is like with 4 kids!? How hard might it be to look at your children and encourage them, tell them they can achieve, when you haven't been able to see a glimpse of light yourself?
In the past 10 years, Penny married the father of her 2 youngest, whose drug addiction was rivalled only by his irresponsibility. By virtue of peer pressure and the desire to escape, she too got lured into the world of drug abuse. She even overdosed and luckily survived. Over time, she temporarily lost custody of her children. Her youngest boys (at the ages of 6 and 8) could tell you stories that no child – heck no adult – should ever have to know or see!
Today, Penny is slowly getting back on her feet, but there's still so much to do… She has tried to get her GED 4 times but has not been able to succeed. There are no accessible programs to help tutor her, and certainly not any that come with childcare! We can only wonder what might happen next.
Penny, as her mother before, is living in poverty supported by food stamps and welfare. Her children have had the luxury of witnessing these problems and the way in which they’ve been handled. When do you think the vicious cycle will end for this family? And, if it doesn’t end soon – what hope will the children have?
You’ll recall that Nichole's mother was working non-traditional hours, getting a very meagre pay, and when time permitted, imbibing to ignore the woes of the world. This left Penny with the role of "mother". Penny took care of Nichole and their older brother: cooking and cleaning in particular.
Nichole can remember Penny bathing her in the morning to get her ready for school. And, when Nichole was sick, Penny would spend time with her – making her soup, playing with her, and making sure she got the rest she needed. One of Nichole's fondest memory is of the 2 girls building tents in their room with their bedsheets and playing with their dolls. Then, the bottom went out again…
Pen’s vivid memory of her father leaving, the downturn her mother took, and the quick decent into poverty and despair scarred her. I suppose that’s not really surprising since it all started when she was 6!
Penny was a good student, focused on doing the right thing for herself and for her family. Penny concentrated on her cheerleading and her schooling until… At the age of 16, Penny started dating one of the high school basketball stars. By the time Pen was 17 she was pregnant and had to quit school to have and to take care of her baby. There was no one around to provide her with guidance, structure and discipline to help her understand and wade through the pressures she might face...
Aside from a broken family, no one provided any support required to a single, teenage mother. Even now, her “baby daddy” is still not paying any child support – and a lot is owed! The result: At the age of 17, Penny is trying to be a mother not only to her own baby, but to her siblings as well; and trying to make her own ends meet.
Just as Nichole’s mom turned to drinking as a way of forgetting the issues, Penny turned to men (though, I’m sure she thought she was turning to love). Anything to escape! Now 18 years later, Penny is the mother of 4 children from 3 different fathers. The poverty and despair cycle has been proliferated. Can you imagine what poverty is like with 4 kids!? How hard might it be to look at your children and encourage them, tell them they can achieve, when you haven't been able to see a glimpse of light yourself?
In the past 10 years, Penny married the father of her 2 youngest, whose drug addiction was rivalled only by his irresponsibility. By virtue of peer pressure and the desire to escape, she too got lured into the world of drug abuse. She even overdosed and luckily survived. Over time, she temporarily lost custody of her children. Her youngest boys (at the ages of 6 and 8) could tell you stories that no child – heck no adult – should ever have to know or see!
Today, Penny is slowly getting back on her feet, but there's still so much to do… She has tried to get her GED 4 times but has not been able to succeed. There are no accessible programs to help tutor her, and certainly not any that come with childcare! We can only wonder what might happen next.
Penny, as her mother before, is living in poverty supported by food stamps and welfare. Her children have had the luxury of witnessing these problems and the way in which they’ve been handled. When do you think the vicious cycle will end for this family? And, if it doesn’t end soon – what hope will the children have?
I deliberately omitted specific details of events due to the harsh and graphic nature of this reality.
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Judi, many thanks for sharing Nicole's story with us ... it certainly sets the stage for your deepening understanding on the broader issues of how to help people out of that cycle of poverty. As America, indeed, the world, settles into recession, (not to mention even a more powerful 'd' word, we're sure going to need, even more than before, many 'think tanks' on how to do that! Keep up the fine work!
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