Back 2 school: Some kids have more challenges

I felt it would be appropriate, on the eve of the real end to the summer, when tomorrow will be the day that all kids are back in school, I post a little post.

In today’s Toronto Star, we are reminded that so many children – right here in our own neighbourhoods, let alone backyards – are struggling to have a roof over their heads and food in their bellies. The article introduces us to a few children in the area: Tyler, Rylee and Miguel, all of whom are faced with challenges, sourced from different reasons, for not having a home.

Those of you who have followed the blog (though some of you may be new – check older posts) will remember a few different times where I’ve suggested you imagine the life… Imagine being a 12-year old boy (influential), going to your ninth school (no stability), and not having a desk or quiet place to do homework in (no security). This scenario doesn’t even include Tyler’s opportunity (or rather, lack thereof) to partake in normal extra-curricular activities like, say, soccer or swimming (no social life structure). I must admit, as I read this, despite the difficulties this family is facing, I had to applaud Tyler’s father for having the sense to say that he would take his son to a library or café to allow him the place he needs to do his homework.

I have, on a number of occasions throughout this blog, offered that access to education is a pivotal key to the reduction of poverty and homelessness. I genuinely believe this! These children who get tossed around from school to school because their family can’t find stability are in a very precarious situation. I will not condone the actions of “grown-ups” who make their choices, but when there are children involved, we must find a way to provide the support needed to give these kids a chance to not repeat the mistakes of their parents – or their parents’ parents. Often times, the “grown-ups” we see in these types of situations were once children like Tyler.

I am absolutely NOT suggesting that every “Tyler” grows up to make these mistakes. But if his family and the assistance programmers cannot come together to give him the educational opportunity and support he needs to get his chance, then how can we turn a blind eye and say “it was all your fault, Tyler” when he doesn’t grow up to be say a stand-up young man?

There are as many ways as you can dream of to help these children: from donating school supplies, to providing breakfasts and lunches, to volunteering with local shelters and support groups. Do we all need to do something? Well, I guess not… But, then I would also suggest that those of us who do nothing should not judge the results of inaction.

Lemons have families too...

I'd like to give you a little extra background on Nichole and her family:

Nichole’s mom graduated from high school – with honours; she was even enrolled in college (but never had a chance to graduate). She took care of her kids while her husband worked. It was the late 70s.

But papa was a rolling stone. He was in a rock band and drove race cars on the weekends. He thought he was one “hot tamale”! Then, the bottom fell out... He lost his job, lost the house and cheated on his wife. Little Nichole was only 2 when her dad left. A single mom with 3 kids and no income doesn’t make ends meet very well. And, Nichole’s dad was not into paying child support!

Oh, there goes gravity… (Eminem, Lose Yourself)

Nichole’s mom turned to county (State) support. A few food stamps and housing subsidies later, none of which provided a good life for a family of 4 in which 3 of the people were under the age of 18, Nichole’s mom gave into the vices that grip people who begin to feel hopeless. She started smoking and drinking heavily – and Lord knows what else – but, the point is that the pressures were too much!

Nichole’s mom – a grown woman – had to work for minimum wage at the local grocery store. She had a job which did not provide her with any family benefits so she remained a “client of welfare”; she did not get time off – she worked weekends, evenings, and sometimes nights. Nichole, her sister (4 years older), and her brother (8 years older) spent nights alone – fending for themselves. The kids would often wake themselves up and get themselves ready to go to school by themselves because their mom was too tired. Can you understand why, sometimes, the laundry didn’t get done?

The subsidies allowed the family to get a used car – sometimes the car started, sometimes it didn’t. Often, it didn’t start because they couldn't afford gas! (Would you believe that food stamps don’t buy gas, either?) When the car didn’t start, Nichole’s mom couldn’t get to work which meant she didn’t get paid. Oh yeah, I know what you’re thinking: call for a ride, take the bus. I thought that way too – but, let me enlighten you:

When you live in many small towns that are in the suburbs of small cities, there is no public transit! So, that option is out the window. And, when you live in areas where poverty is the norm, reliability is not a trait you find in others very easily. So, you just stay home. It doesn't happen over night; at first, you try. But, over time, when you are continuously met with this kind of challenge and obstacle, it's hard to find the strength to push through.

Shall we recap?
• From a life with hope, to hopeless and alone
• From regular meals to food stamps and housing subsidies
• From stay-at-home mom to minimum wage work with no benefits
• From a nice home to no stability
• From race cars to a car that might not start
• And, no reliable people or public transit

Sounds dreamy, doesn’t it? These were the realities that this family lived with… So, it’s no surprise when I tell you that there were often nights when splitting a baked potato for dinner was something you just had to do. Nichole recalls many nights where her mom actually gave up eating so that the kids could get a larger portion. Did I mention that her mom weighs about 90lbs all wet?

What’s the point of this story? The point is that poverty is a cycle. Somewhere, somehow, the cycle has to be broken. Here’s the big challenge: How do you break the cycle of poverty, create value for education, and mitigate the negative influences, without losing the fact that in the middle of it all, there exists a family?

Lemon-scented laundry...

Well, now that I’ve introduced you to Nichole, I’d like to walk you through a few episodes of her life. The following stories might get you emotional – they sure did me. Nichole’s life and life experiences are about as clear an example of how lack of education and poverty become part of an endless cycle until someone finds the hope and strength to break it.

Laundry detergent – is it a right or a privilege?

You know what I think is interesting: the term “underprivileged”. According to the

Merriam-Webster online dictionary, underprivileged refers to those deprived through social or economic condition of some of the fundamental rights of all members of civilized society. When most of us think of people who are living in underprivileged conditions, we think of subsidized housing and lack of food. Would you have even considered that access to laundry detergent, or clean clothes, would actually be restricted? I mean, I’m not trying to feign ignorance here but laundry detergent is not something top of mind… not even in our own daily lives, but it is very important.

When Nichole was 9, getting ready for school she often woke up to put on dirty clothes. There were days when the laundry just didn’t get done: without hope or when you're short on food, it’s hard to have the energy to clean clothes. Many times, it was simply a question of not having laundry detergent to begin with. Nichole even has memories of clothes being washed in the bathtub with dish soap because it is cheaper than laundry detergent. Not to mention that it was the only thing left in the house which could clean clothes… well, at least until the welfare check came!

Now, it’s hard enough being a kid who lives below the level of poverty. Add to it the regular stresses of going to school, throw in a dash of “out-of-style” clothing, and for good measure – make those clothes dirty! Do you want to keep going to school?

Here’s the thing – food stamps do not buy laundry detergent. When we look for ways to help bridge the gap between poverty and lack of education, we need to create an educational environment that breaks down (as much as possible) the silos that society creates and then imposes on our children. Those silos make it hard for “over-privileged” children; imagine what they do to underprivileged children?

* The image of the Sunlight detergent is simply used to depict a "lemon-scented" laundry detergent.

The Lemon Seed

I think I would be remiss if I didn’t join in the world of endless information, endless communications and endless ideas. You see (for those who don’t know me), I’m one of those people who can take an 8-hour day and turn it into a thousand different ideas. Maybe some are good, maybe some are bad – but the melon is always thinking! And, it is always thinking about something in particular: the link between poverty and lack of education.

I’m hoping that by shining some light onto people’s stories: experiences, successes and fears; and by providing some insight into some ideas I’ve come to dream of, there may be someone out there who can help with making some of these ideas and hopes come to life.

First, let me give you some background on the “Once upon a Lemon Tree” concept. You’ve heard of the expression: “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade”? Well – that’s where this idea was born. Fact is, in today’s climate, there are probably a lot of people who feel like they’ve been given the whole damn lemon tree!

Second, let me show you how the “lemon tree” has anything to do with the link between “poverty and lack of education”. Many of you might remember your first job setting up a lemonade stand on your street and selling a glass for 10¢ on a hot summer day. But, how did you make the lemonade? If your mom or dad hadn’t showed you and your friends how to make the stuff, you’d have had nothing but the lemons and sugar! So, you had to learn. That’s the point… if you learn something you can probably make some money off of it.

Third, let me demonstrate the missing link – and hence, some of the stories and ideas I will present in future posts. Just because you learned something doesn’t mean you can make money, but it is a mandatory pre-requisite. The missing link to the “lemon tree” is to find the opportunity. But, then again – I suppose you could learn to identify opportunities…